I'm stuck...

And I don't know what to do. I have a trip to San Diego planned for early next month, but I already know I'll have to cancel it because I can't really afford it. I already have the plane ticket bought and paid for, but it's the other stuff such as hotel and car rental plus the incidental stuff like zoo admission and such. But I was looking at the airline website yesterday and initially rolled my eyes when I saw what they considered to be a "sale". Just for shits and grins, though, I looked up how much a roundtrip to San Jose, CA in mid-April would cost and it'd only be about $50 more than the credit will be for canceling San Diego. And then I got to thinking about going somewhere I've never been to before and came up with Dallas, TX. I've never been to Texas, period, and there's some good zoos there that I'd like to see. With either trip I could go to an NHL hockey game and with the San Jose trip there'd be lighthouses to see. I only have until January 21st to make my decision. Then I start thinking about car payments and all of the Breyer clubs I'm enrolled in and I probably can't afford to take a trip, even an inexpensive one. I haven't been anywhere since Las Vegas in May 2014 (or was in 2013?). I could postpone San Diego until mid-April and just go with that. I could still get in a couple of zoos I've never been to, but there wouldn't be any new lighthouses. Heck, San Diego only has the 2. 3 if you count Tom Hamm's Lighthouse Restaurant, which is an active aid to navigation. If I went to the Bay area, there'd be a bunch to potentially go see, but if I went to Dallas, there wouldn't be any. And aside from the cost associated with any of the trips, I'm not 100% sure I even want to go anywhere. I get so excited planning trips and thinking of how fun it'll be, but when it comes right down to it, I'd rather just stay home, but then I feel like a lump for not going anywhere, you know? I used to enjoy traveling. Well, I enjoyed planning the trips, but once I was actually there I find I'd rather be back at home. I don't know.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything, I just wanted to write about it because sometimes that helps clear my head. I don't know. I probably shouldn't go anywhere. I hate not having the money to do what I want, but it was my own fault for signing up for every single club Breyer released this year. That's a huge fault of mine. Impulse buying. I wish I could give it back, but...oh well.

I hope everyone has a good week. Take care.